“I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it.”
I’m going to admit it. I’m not always the most empathetic person, but people do come to me often and I try my best. I wish I could say the same as Audrey. Sometimes, I feel as though people I know think it’s THEIR show. And, really, it is. In their life it’s their show, and in my life it’s MY show. But I shouldn’t write off others because I feel their complaints and problems are minor compared to mine (though I’m pretty reserved with my issues). To them, it’s all the shit they’re dealing with and it’s a lot, and who am I to judge? I need to step back and really look at the big picture. I used to be so good at this! Lately I find myself irritable and not really listening 100% of the time. I can be a great and terrible friend at the same time. I think my true friends see me for what I am and see the good in me, not the crappy side.
I LOVE attention, affection, being envied, imitated, whatever. In high school, before I turned to other methods, I drew from other’s flattery. As I got older, it was usually from the opposite sex that I got this attention I craved, and used it to my favor. Not saying I was a harlot, but it was nice to have people buying you drinks because you smiled the right way, had the coolest hair and piercings/tattoos, and were brash.
It’s also probably the way I met the love of my life. We were both waiting by the bar (him for his paycheck, me for drinks for table whatever) and he commented on something with OJ and Pineapple juice probably being delightful. My brash mouth and attitude spat out “yeah, if you have a pussy” and I guess for him it was love at first sight. At the time it wasn’t at the front of my mind, but after one date with him (which took a few weeks and a very cheesy pick up line on his part) I was done for.
Even now, a few years shy of thirty, and I still wish for that praise and affection that… I don’t know that it exists for me at this time. I’m not graceful, a great hostess, or able to be the compassionate listener (I used to be good at this). Now my mind wanders, I cut people off, and often wonder why I don’t just blab all my issues to the world as if I needed sympathy. I know I’m too old to be that punk rock chick taping band flyers to the homeless in Orlando, but at the same time I can’t (and I’ve tried) be the “woman” wearing clothing from the women’s section and heels with statement jewelry. If I had it my way, I’d probably have about 10 facial piercings and 2 full sleeves by now (not considering monetary issues). What type of image does this imply as an army wife? Sure, while Charlie is a JNCO is isn’t a big deal. But once he grows in rank, or if he gets accepted to green-to-gold or OCS I’m pretty sure I’ll need to put on a new “face”. The army is a bit different from civilian life, and I’m adjusting while fighting it.
On a whim, I drove a bit outside of Honolulu tonight to try out long exposure and ended up meeting a new friend while at it. Here are the three images I edited since I arrived home. Tomorrow morning I’m hitting the lagoons with a good friend, then Walmart, then a newborn shoot (can I remind myself after the other scheduled one I’m no longer doing newborns? They are so precious and I love snuggling them, but so hard to get great photos of!), and lastly picking up a gift for a certain person. Plus getting things ready for my baby’s homecoming! Cheesy, yes, he has only been gone a bit more than a month but we missed him and he missed us and that means we are celebrating!
Oh yeah. I still haven’t made a Hibiscus half post. Later (meaning next month, lol)
“In 1900, the typical city dweller consumed about 2,900 calories per day, with 40 percent of these calories coming from equal parts saturated and unsaturated fat. (Rural families living and working on farms probably ate more calories.) Theirs was a diet filled with butter, eggs, meats, grains, and seasonable fruits and vegetables. Few Americans were overweight, and the three most common causes of death were pneumonia, tuberculosis, and diarrhea and enteritis.”
Excerpt From: Perlmutter, David. “Grain Brain.” Little, Brown and Company, 2013-09-17. iBooks.
This material may be protected by copyright.
Check his credentials. There are a lot of crazy diet people out there, and he may be one of them, but this book is definitely thought provoking. As long as you don’t mind a harder read.
Also- I miss the double space between sentences. I still catch myself sometimes…. Random thought for you.
Charlie comes home in a few days! It went by faster than I expected. I didn’t accomplish nearly as much as I hoped.. funny. When he is home, he tells me to stop cleaning, when he is gone, I don’t want to! Lol.
I was doing better at keeping it updated, but here’s the link to my youtube video feed. It’s nothing super impressive, just day to day life 🙂 But I know my parents and in-laws love to see the nuggets in action. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQbxJR0BSXvwIAxbjMLE7_g/videos
I broke out the juicer again yesterday- I forgot how good (kind of?) fresh juice is. That, plus Combat live today, and shakeology has my system like whoa.
(that is not my husband or anyone I even know. But that is one sexy as hell camera lens!)
So, after lots of blogging, and not blogging, and making separate blogs for different things, and combining old blogs with new blogs- you get the idea- I am tired, and decided it’s all going into ONE space. I am not different things, I am Candice. There are little things that make up the whole of me, but I can’t be completely separated into this, that and the third.
To make it easy, everything has been categorized. So, if you’re here for my fitness articles/posts/related things, look on your right and click “fitness”. Same for photography, or Life, the Universe, and Everything for just day to day ramblings, regular life stuff. Sometimes a post might cross into 2 categories. Cheers!
**Note** If you’re looking for my photography blog, please go here: http://www.candicemphotography.com which is contained in my business website
Attempt number 2 climbing up the back of the mountain ridge overlooking H3 and down Haiku Stairs, AKA “Stairway to Heaven”. It’s extremely gorgeous under good weather conditions.. unfortunately 6 of the 7 hour hike was rainy and we were (literally) walking in the clouds. Embedded is a short video Charlie took coming down the stairs.
Was it hard? You bet. Lots of very, VERY steep climbing with rock footholds and holding onto ferns or the occasional rope to hoist yourself up an almost vertical climb. Plenty of sliding down the ridge (parallel to H3) on our bums. We were literally “red” from the clay by the end of the trip, but it was extremely amazing to accomplish something very few will ever do in their lifetime.
PS- going down the stairs is scary as shit! Not only were they wet, some of the rungs are missing or wobbly or tilted, and a few of the rails are no longer there. Parts are vertical, forcing you to go down like a ladder, but mostly you can go down face first. About a 1/4 down the stairs the weather cleared (just one side, the one overlooking the highway and K-Bay) and the rain let up.
I made a slideshow of images I was able to gather from our collective cellphones, the GoPro video feed will be posted after the guys return from operation desert training.
So, Super Saturday this April was kicking! It was good to see my team mates, and meet some new friends. After a very inspirational speech from one very awesome lady and group photos, we did a triple workout!
1. Insanity Workout (warmup, 10 minute)
2. Turbo Kick to the tune of Pharell’s Happy
3. PiYo! I wasn’t expecting a pilates-yoga fusion to be so ass kicking awesome. I’m actually signed up to become a certified instructor this Saturday, the 26th 😀
If you’d like to tag along to the next one in June, please let me know! It’s free for non-coaches and I usually have room in my car. It’s not a sales pitch to become a coach, just a bunch of people getting together, sharing some inspirational/motivational stuff and then getting good and sweaty! It will be right after BB SUMIT (huge event) so we’ll get a preview of Charlene Johnson’s official PiYo Beachbody program too 🙂
My first 10k! I honestly did not run once since the 23’rds Spartan Sprint.. lol. How great am I at preparing for things!?
I will say, I ran for 10+ minute intervals (never happened before!) and my 5k time was about a minute better than my first Cross Country event in high school. Not terrible for being 10 years older. We started at the foot of the bridge, and ran a huge clockwise circle on the roads that follow the permitter of the island. Cool running past the Mighty Mo’ and all the old buildings. I’m surprised they haven’t remodeled them- some of them look in pretty bad shape. Veterans were nice enough to hand out little Flags so I stuck one in my camel back around Mile 2. Since I had my hydration system I didn’t have to stop at the water stations, but pretty much traffic got congested there. There was a guy who went down around mile four, hope he is okay 😦 It was decently warm (high 70s low 80s) and maybe he didn’t hydrate well, or pushed himself too hard. I didn’t see the details.
My final time was 1 Hour 17 minutes and a few seconds, I haven’t seen where to find the official results yet. Woop Woop dude was there, plus a whole interesting variety of people. One older guy had a Ford Island Bridge Run shirt from ’99, another looked like Carrot top wearing a speedo. Lol. I had a blast! It was a little scary doing something all by myself, but I dove in headfirst. Hubs was apparently pretty proud of me and told his office all about how cool I am (:
I’m ready for the next thing! I think we might try a hike next weekend, and possibly skydiving for our friend’s birthday on Easter!